The male crisis in a changing world

The public perception of men continues to worsen as news and discussions about what many men do and think continue to project us men as power-drunk, interested only in asserting our domination of others. 

Increasingly, men are seen as types of human beings that have this desire to express their identity (manhood) by meting out violence on others in order to dominate them. The image of men as boys who rob and harass others is becoming all too common. The males that form majority among violent protesters, violent strikers, violent criminals and therefore dominate numbers in the prison population project an unfortunate kind of manhood. 

Contrary to signals coming from the modern and materialized world, the maturity of males as men is not a matter of age and material possession alone, but our growing into our responsibility and identity. It is this that distinguishes men from boys, no matter their age. It is this that enables us men to play our full role in the development of society, the building of a prosperous African society where women and children also prosper. 

Males without a keen sense of responsibility and identity are not only under-performers in the struggle for a prosperous society, but are actually a major drain on the collective energy by which such a struggle is won. 

Clearly, South Africa is a violent society. This is in large part a result of a history of institutionalised violence since colonial conquest three centuries ago, a process that involved an orgy of bloodletting and other forms of violence including the installation of low self-esteem especially among black people. The maintenance and growth of the system of colonialism and apartheid was a largely violent affair. Again, both the physical violence of gun-totting security forces that raided communities, houses and human bodies in the quest to suppress black resistance to domination, and the psychological and cultural violence in the form of racism and installation of a feeling of inferiority continued. 

The defeat of political apartheid in 1994 created conditions for freedom from fear of physical harm or psychological harassment over political views. But we now know that the end of formal apartheid did not uproot the culture and architecture of violence that the system had built into the very fabric of the South African society, neither was it followed by serious efforts to heal the bruised and traumatized society, communities and families. 

Clearly, men especially carry this inheritance of violence in their hearts and mind. It has become men's burden. The anger that has been written about as being widespread and palpable in our society is largely expressed in violent behaviour. It is the anger that manifests in intense relations between races and communities. The ease with which people turn to violence to resolve even minor challenges, from being overtaken by another car on the road to accidental shoulder bumps in crowded town streets is indicative of this deep-seated problem of anger and a culture of violence. 

But this culture expresses itself in the form of male violence not because males are inherently predisposed to violence rather because males need to understand their position, power, responsibility and identity in a changing society. This we need, as men, in order to forego the temptation towards violence every time we face challenges.In this sense, the male in Africa, especially the black male, suffers from difficulties in understanding their role and position in society. The negative energy that males release into society, both in relationships with other men and with women and children is a result of males battling to cope with a fast-changing society saddled with a culture of violence anyway. 

In Understanding the Power and Purpose of Men, Dr Myles Munroe persuasively demonstrates that there is a crisis of manhood that is generally about the evolution of modern society, that this has transformed traditional roles and functions of genders, leaving the male confused and disillusioned about their roles and purpose. "They are lost in a maze of new paradigms", he suggests, "and the uncharted waters of social and cultural convergence."  (Page 8). 

This maze of paradigms include the progressive ideas of women empowerment, genderless economic development, gender-blind professional development, the ascension of women to positions of power in politics and business traditionally held by males, the new family structure, the new child rights, extended social justice and so forth. The idea that everyone can rise to the top of the social ladder on the basis of their abilities and ingenuity rather than their gender is challenging old masculine ideals of society. The male is in a state of confusion in many ways. 

The new culture has undone the default elevation of us males in society, demanding rather that we earn our respect and advantage on the basis of effort in an equal society. It is a culture where norms of individual excellence combine with great vigilance against structural inequality to make the old male function a bit dated. It is culture of equality and equity, a culture of excellence and performance, a culture of dexterity and versatility. 

We males have to find themselves a new meaning, role and self-definition in this. We have to find our feet quickly in the midst of societal change. We have to find stability in this fluidity of systems. We have to firm up our stance in the midst of shifting sands under our feet. We have to avoid seeking to defend or return to the old ways where males had automatic power over others and important position to run things their ways. Instead of learning to adjust, we men use our fists and the blows of our feet to get women to stop talking truth to them. 

We use violence to access women's bodies when women insist on deciding about how their bodies are accessed. We use physical force to push others behind us in a life game where being in front or ahead is somewhat important. We use violence to steal clothes that help us look gentle and elegant. We shout and scream at others when we feel drowned out by a cacophony of voices in horizontal conversations of daily life. We kick and insult when we fail job interviews or music competitions. We have not learned to take blows, recollect and outcompete others. We have not learned to take a 'no' for an answer and work out more innovative ways to win a yes. We have not understood how to give due praise and love in order to trigger respect from others. 

The sooner we learn responsibility, the quicker we will know that we are still accountable for how we respond to the pressures of life. We will know that no violence and other forms of irresponsible behaviour on our part towards others are excusable. We cannot blame others or society for what we allow our feelings to lead us to. 

We can learn to self-control and discipline in the midst of pressures. We can regain our confidence, power and position in society society alongside others without harming them. We can be ingenious co-creators of a prosperous African nation. We can, yes we can.