Sista, scum bags not worth your sacrifices

In some cases, after much suppression, threatened with violence and cowed by denial of privileges that men can offer, some sisters have come to internalize their subjecthood, willingly allowing themselves to be bullied and pushed into position lower than they ought to be. 

As we move from one encounter with male men at work, in the corporate sector, in church, in NGOs and at homes, some women have come to think that this is what ought to be after all, thus giving away their duty to pursue their own purpose too. 

Men have allowed other men's demands to change their own destinies. 

The men who do this are mostly driven by fear of loosing material power to use to assert their domineering roles. They relate their power to what they own materially relative to women owned. 

They see accumulation of material things and positions by women as a threat their power and thus react by other suppressing women, denying them what us due to them and by sulking into some little corners in society, feeling debased. 

Dr Myles' Understanding the Power and Purpose of Men, tells a story that best illustrate this point. A while ago, after speaking at a leadership meeting in Pittsburg, says Dr Myles, a young unmarried lady in her late twenties told me that she was a vice-president of a bank and was earning very well.

She said she had always dreamt of owning a Jaguar and though she could now afford, she decided not to buy it because it would intimidate men. It would send a wrong signal, she said. 

So, she bought a car of lower status to avoid frightening men at the time when she was ready for a steady relationship and marriage. 

I have picked up that the Pittsburg lady can be found in Soweto in South Africa, Harare in Zimbabwe or Kinshasa in the DRC. I am certain you also know of women sacrificing their increase to avoid putting prospective husbands off. I have. 

Desperation is what happens when a person does not understand that they are complete for their purpose and that they can achieve what they desire. It is to allow others' opinion to cloud their inner voice of essence. It when they see thselves through the mirror of eyes of doubting others. 

Yep, desperate women can make a mistake of diminishing their potential just to hook to an intimidated men. Marriages and relationships built on intimidation and self-depreciation are bound run into difficulties every now and then. 

As I said to that lady, women should not marry men who are intimidated by the size of the car you own or think of owning. Such men are insecure. Such men equate position with things they own.  

Dr Myles says he left her with these words, which I think applies to many women too: "when insecurity marries insecurity, there will be problems throughout that marriage."

Men must be reminded that their self-image should not be linked to what someone else has. If you are a CEO of a company, you are the CEO even if your HR Manager owns a Porsche. 

There is not even a guarantee that that the woman with modest asset today will not accelerate up the corporate ladder to own more than you have. 

Women have to understand thatdesperate  sacrifices don't even guarantee the desired outcome. Letting go of opportunities and life had already just to draw in a scum bag looking like a man is foolish. 

Do I advocate arrogance on the part of single women hoping for marriage? No! Do I want to see large numbers of spinsters who fail to connect with potential soul mates? No! 

Am I discounting the possibility that scum bags have the potential to evolve into hunks? No! 

All I am saying that intimidated and low self-esteemed men deserve support, but sacrifice of advantages women have. Women do not have to lose essentials in order to gain a soul mate. 

What do you think?