Chains that Bind: Self-Hate And African Predicament

Chains that Bind: Battling Low Perceptions.

Until we Africans change our self-perception, we will continue to confirm by our conduct and actions the stereotypes and insults others heep on us. 

Too often we validate by action the stereotype of an African as less than capable, lazy or failure by design by doing exactly the things we actually are not. 

Africans who arrive after the set time confirm that they subscribe to the inferior Bantu time; black companies that neglect to complete tender projects confirm the idea of Africans as inferior in business; the public servant that has a callous attitude make stereotypes of lazy blacks seem true. 

I made a decision to live with honour, work with diligence and think highly of my abilities so that the stereotypes and insults find me ready to defy them. "It’s not what you call me that matters," says an African proverb, "but what I answer to." 

We do not control what others think of us and cannot stop them from thinking low about us, but we control how this affects us and how we live thereafter. 

We do often walk around with mental chains that limit our potential around our proverbial necks. 

The battle against distortion of our mind about ourselves is a long and tortous road to freedom.

Unpack to Serve, Unwrap to Be: the Duty of Humans

By Siphamandla Zondi

It is the greatest duty of humans to unpack themselves before earth, for earth to know how to be enriched by each one of us. 

It is our responsibility to show our true sleves, the hidden potential, the concealed dynamite, the not-yet-known phenomenon we are. For it is us who should best who are before others discover this. So, we better know the mysteries we carry in order to be able to mould and prepare them for presentation to the world. 

The Nelson Mandela phenomenon we came to know was a marvel to us, but not to the person, Mandela. So it was with Stephen Jobs, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jnr, Mother Teressa or Richard Branson. They got to know their hidden selves, their purpose within them first, moulded it and served it to the world as a phenomenon. You and I also are phenomena yet to be revealed to the world.

This is why Dr Myles Munroe had to say boldly and simply:  do not die loaded, unload that which you have; die empty.  He was saying do not get taken out of earth still a phenomenon preserved within a  packaged, but be unpacked and served to us all. H shocked many when he urged people to "die empty". 

Humans fail partly because they fail to accept the inevitability of death as the inspiration for them to live fully and optimally. Humans shun the impending death as if it was itself a tragedy rather an exist from duty, life lived, and opportunities had. 

Humans know that they have to die at some point because the garden we live that is earth can only contain as many people and some have to make way  use or apply that which they came to earth with and for. The earth can accommodate a number of people and the rate at which the population is growing, the space on earth is shrinking fast. 

Humans therefore often miss the point that earth if like a station on a long life to destiny, a point in a long production line. Those in it must make use of that opportunity to improve that point those they give birth find it ripe for them too to add that extra to what they find it. Otherwise, many of us are simply wasting the opportunity. 

I get really annoyed when I see a young person squander a schooling opportunity, forgetting that they only have 10-12 years window of opportunity to do schooling, preparing them to do something else.  You also find some wasting their university years, the only 3-7 years they have to do this properly. They do not always understand that if this portion of life is not done properly, the next phases become a lot more difficult. 

Similarly, life on earth is like the schooling years that must be used fully for someone to pass joyously. Many are condoned out of life because they under-used it, people have to make up stories to say how well they lived before their death. Just like a kid who has to be condoned from grade to grade because they have not moved up grades normally, they are objects of pity rather than celebration of impact. 

The challenge in earthly life is to bring the potential book within, potential technology, potential company, potential riches, potential talents, potential professions, potential solution, potential studio, potential vegetable garden, wife, husband, singer, dancer, entrepreneur  .... out! 

The tragedy is that there is a singer who trying to bring out an engineering marvel and think they're failing. An engineer is roaming the streets as vendor unable to become. 

It is a pity that some people have missed many chances to acquire the means to unpack their potential and serve it to society. Many who are destined for greatness are to discover and serve their purpose; they are still in a wilderness of decisions made or not made. 

Many future artists are street kids that decided to run away from homes where they were to be groomed to be great. Of course, some were pushed by decisions of their parents including the decisions to abuse and neglect, to shun and to reject them. 

Still many took decisions of their own because they were bored or were enticed by the promise of the outside home. Some tried their luck and left homes. Some considered preparation to be delay and training to be a waste of their time. They wanted to work and earn money now; they wanted independence while they were yet able to walk through life on their own.

Some are deciding right now either to do drastic things like taking a life much lower than their purpose requires or to take their lives well ahead of their purposed accomplishments. 

Whatever the way of digression is chosen, it is a tragedy. It is a let down. It robs society of the buildings, innovations, helping hands, teachers, inventions, ideas, words etc that were going to be. 

What we need to remind each other and ourselves of is who we were made to be, what sort of humans we were meant to be. We need not motivation, but inspiration; we need empty words that only makes believe for a moment, but the pouring out of the spirit of courage and encouragement. We need actions and words that cause us to seek and find purpose in life, in everything and everywhere. 

Secondly, we need to make others and ourselves conscious of the clusters of opportunities and chances out there in the world. We need to teach ourselves to see opportunities that are everywhere around us. The Bible says time and opportunity happens to us all. This is true. There are opportunities in people we meet, things we are asked to do, conflicts we encounter, enemies we meet... Everything is pregnant with an opportunity for one to achieve one's purpose. 

The sad thing is that many have really great opportunities, but have not trained themselves to see them in whatever wrapping they come in. So, many squander really obvious chances to become great assets to society here and now.

Thirdly, we will need to help each other with ideas about what practical things we can do to take many opportunities that come away. They need to know how to prepare themselves for implementing ideas they have. They need to know how to practically plan for an idea they have found. They need to know what doors can they knock on and who they can speak to. 

Fourthly, we need to remind them that courage is not absence of fear or failure, but it is a decision to keep trying in spite of failure. It is the willingness to keep proceeding in the direction of your goal and purpose in spite of adversity or distraction. It is will to fail until you succeed.

Find a mentor to walk you through this. Find someone to account to for decisions you make, so you will not turn away from them.

You who can... Bring it out! Empty yourself. Help someone empty themselves!

The Second Set of Eyes: Learning is Seeing

Few things compare to exposure to knowledge in transforming lives of people with the possibility of making them great and successful.

I want to propose that to know more and have high density of information in one's system is to be equipped to deal more successfully with the complexities of life today. At the very heart of the maturing of a human society is how it expands opportunities for its young people to access knowledge they need to take charge of their lives and their environment. 

Their ability to govern their environs for the benefit of all is what distinguishes human beings from others. African notions of humanness privilege the ability to share one's human values with others. The dictum, you are because we are, commonly called ubuntu, defines the African idea of humanity as being inclusive and communal in essence. 

This is distinct from the pervasive modern concept of "I think therefore I am", which generates the egocentrism from which comes greed, selfishness, excessive individualism, high mindedness and aloofness. 

In this sense, learning to share, to coexist, to cooperate and to co-create is the essence of knowledge in African settings in spite of the impact of modernity. So, acquisition of knowledge is not for the purpose of lording over others, but to become socially useful, to work with others to build a better world, to become better with and through others. 

To the extent that the Christian idea of creation emphasizes that human beings exist to work and govern the garden for the good of all, it reinforces African notions of honour and responsibility where individual human beings earn their place in the community of beings by virtue of their respect of others and their inputs. 

Secondly I also want to propose that exposure to both information and insights from experiences of the world out there has an enduringly positive impact because it gives more than ordinary ways of seeing the world and ourselves in it.  

Acquisition of knowledge is not supposed to be an excessively technical process focused on the transfer of technical skills, but it is supposed to be part of the socialization of society, humanisation of beings. Knowledge is social awareness; it is one condition found in every component of humanity and in all human history from the islands isolated in the Pacific to te Inca of Latin American mountains, the peoples of Europe as well as the peoples of Africa. It is condition that crimes against humanity like racism, apartheid and colonialism sought to destroy.

Gathering information is an important condition for acquiring knowledge. There is no knowledge without collecting data and information about ourselves and  the world around us. It is for this reason that the schooling system exposes young people to loads of information on a whole range of areas of life in the hope that they  imbibe something about each in order to be rounded people. 

Thirdly, by acquiring knowledge as an extra set of eyes I mean that knowledge should enable those who acquire it to see a little more or lot deep into life and the world. It must give them ability to see things from various angles. It must teach them to put on the glasses of many others when they look at issues in front of them. 

The extra set of eyes enables humankind to transcend myopia, prejudice, narrow-mindedness, short-sightedness, amnesia and mediocrity. It helps them see the whole person in their encounters with others, the whole issue in discussion, the whole problem in their communities and the whole world in the manner that they live on earth. 

There is no end to the process of acquiring and training the extra eyes to see clearer, farther and deeper into issues of life. So, there should be no end to hearing and perceiving, training the eyes to see. We should make personal commitments to know better daily and all the time. 

In our next piece, we reflect on hearing in order to see better. 

Nelson Mandela Day: Eish?

Few days cause a display of love for the country and care for each other than theInternational Mandela Day. Since the day was declared an official international day by the United Nations General Assembly for doing good to others for at least 67 minutes, it has been used to galvanize society to take a moment to think about the plight of people on the sidelines of society and to take interest in important structures of society that the most vulnerable need. 

The day is used to emulate the example of Mandela. But given the fact that there is no one meaning of Mandela and Mandela as symbol of subject to abuse, what are implications of the popularization of the day today? 

The answers to this question lie in our understanding of the symbolism of the day and the iconography of the man after whom it is named. The international day was actually inspired by Mandela's 90th birthday celebrations held throughout the world in 2008 that marked out the fact that he had dedicated 67 years of his life to selfless service to humanity. This was a culmination of several celebrations of the previous years, that got the world mood generally united in the recognition of the humanist phenomenon that Mandela was for the world facing huge challenges relating to the erosion of the values and ethics of humanness.

When this widespread feeling was taken up for discussion by states at the United Nations General Assembly the following year, there would be a universal acceptance of the idea of declaring an international day in honour of Mandela for  humanistic values and "his dedication to the service of humanity". World leaders agreed to honour also Mandela's exemplary dedication "to the struggle for democracy internationally and the promotion of a culture of peace throughout the world". Therefore, the day was invented as a call to action. In particular, it was an invitation for peoples of the world to display their humanity by dedicating 67 minutes of their time oft he 18th July every year to some public good. This was seen as "a small gesture of solidarity with humanity and a step towards a global movement for good." 

To make it easy for people, 67 suggestions of what could be done was provided jointly by the UN and the Nelson Mandela Foundation. These included reading for someone who can't; cleaning filthy facilities; offering donations; helping out at a shelter and other charity-type activities as well as more profound forms of actions like offering chats for terminally ill patients; making a new friends across cultures; getting medically checked and offering someone a job. The list has grown as we record the creativity displayed by humanists throughout the world. 

There has been an explosion of charitable work in South Africa on this day and a mighty outpouring of goodwill and love. There has been a particular prominence given to humane actions done for the most vulnerable of our society: the disabled, orphaned, the very sick, the abused and the infants. People have turned up to pain and fix shelters, to sing and dance with the unfortunate of our society, to bring essential supplies and share a laugh with them in ways no other Day has caused them to. 

The pilgrimage from suburbia and towns to townships, informal settlements and rural areas for the 67 minutes interventions (which are usually up to full day) have become a common sight. This has made the country look capable of caring enough to enable the defeat of poverty, marginalization and brutalization of others. It has assured one that we as a people can take care of others.

These activities can be dismissed as vain glory for bourgeoisie haunted by the shame of their material fetish in the sea of lack and poverty. It can be dismissed as inconsequential short lived display of humanity. It can be reduced into mere charity rather than causing real change in lives of people. It can be said that the day will loose meaning because of its commercialisation as corporations see opportunities offer the crumbs from their fat dinner table. 

But a new ground has been broken and  possibilities have been expanded all the same. It remains to be seen if these actions will change the actors and the targeted people as they should. It is to been if it would cause them to stand up and be counted on a continuous basis.

Even if the work done of the day is of such as nature that it is small consolidation for affluence, the important thing is the symbolism of the day. At the launch of the day at the UN General Assembly in 2008, the Secretary General, Ban Ki-Moon, said, "Nelson Mandela’s extraordinary compassion after 27 years in prison showed that human rights and equality are stronger than discrimination and hate." 

The reminder about the values and principles Mandela and his generation lived by is an important element of the day. Its effect is to humanize the heart and mind of citizens so that their charity moves from being just about material assistance, but rehumanising society brutalised materialism, callousness and greed. 

The challenge going forward is to offer opportunities for people to reflect on what they do on this day, so that there is a reconciliation between the moral ethic of giver and the giver's personality. It is also to ensure that the Mandela phenomenon is understand as a complex, diverse and educative representational power. 

It should be used to speak out against actions of states and other powerful actors that are inconsistent with the values of humanness. It is thus a symbol by which we redefine our society and ourselves in from the margins to centres. 

more: http://www.southafrica.info/mandela/67minutes.htm#.U9AVwYkazCQ#ixzz38KBmuBlz

The Youth 2014 Needs

Key to success is to understand the times and space in which one finds himself. Time and space when used wisely and to the end desired in line with interests of society, success is guaranteed. 

2014 is a year in a season of great changes. The season is called a period of globalisation. It is times when the world is increasingly interconnected via internet and efficient transport systems. It is interlinked through every growing trade routes. There is hardly an obstacle to contact between one part of the world and another. The power of the telephone was an important of world development a century ago; today, we have mobile technology that have made this interconnection hundred times faster. 

This is a season of great changes in politics. The world can work a lot closer together to deal with the challenges that have become much more transnational today than in the past. No country is able on its own to resolve its challenges without the whole community of nations creating a conducive environment for their success. International organisations have assumed greater significance in our lives, from human rights institutions that protect people from the violation of their dignity by the powerful in society to transnational corporations that can move services from one side of the world to another, guaranteeing similar quality of services to many. 

Similarly, the failures of society in one part of the world threaten lives in other parts in a matter of short time. The collapse of states in Africa and the Arab world can produced militant and disillusioned young people who are willing to blow themselves up and bomb others to register their frustrations. We call this terrorism. The assistance one part of the world in the form of development aid gives to another can produce dependency, over-reliance on outside help and poverty. International organisations can export wars, conflict and harmful materialist cultures that spread lifestyle diseases. International arts can encourage sub-cultures that engender violence and moral decay. 

The interconnected world offers great opportunities for young people of today because it can enable them to connect with opportunities in right time when they have a good sense of what they can be in a positive sense. The world population has become younger overall on account of youth bulge in the developing world. This means Africa, Asia, the Caribbean and Latin America can become the third world in the sense that we had the first world that was built on imperialism and slavery and then the second world built in industrial revolution. The third world would be built on what the developing countries are able to do, taking advantage of their abundant resources, youthful population and time. 

Young people in Africa and South Africa stand at the crossroad with the route to success wide-open ahead of them. They will need at least three things to succeed. 

The first is an understanding of the times, as times of great opportunities in technology, capital circulation, international attention and positive attitude to Africa all over the world. 

Secondly, young people need to grasp their personal vision, the purpose of their existence. Purpose is everything needed for personal and societal success. I have always said without purpose there is no direction in life. Inspiration is produced by passion. God designed that human beings must take dominion and rule over the earth. 

Thirdly, young people need to determine in their heart to take their first step in the direction of their vision. 

At least, the first step is to decide on a plan with regard to acquiring the right educational credentials for the purpose. Young people have to commit themselves to study and there should be no end to acquisition of knowledge. Plan to make connections with as many people as it is possible as networks are essential for success, no one can succeeds properly living and working alone in a corner of life. 

Fourthly, young people need to trust in God, the king of kings. For them to be kings, they need the source of kingship. In order to take charge of their future, they need one who knows the end from the beginning. God is the foundation of all sustainable success. 

I trust that you will use the youth month of June to pursue greatness and lay the basis for a prosperous future. Your time is now; use it. 

I wish all the best of luck as you step into your greatness and become that which you were born to be.  

Sista, scum bags not worth your sacrifices

In some cases, after much suppression, threatened with violence and cowed by denial of privileges that men can offer, some sisters have come to internalize their subjecthood, willingly allowing themselves to be bullied and pushed into position lower than they ought to be. 

As we move from one encounter with male men at work, in the corporate sector, in church, in NGOs and at homes, some women have come to think that this is what ought to be after all, thus giving away their duty to pursue their own purpose too. 

Men have allowed other men's demands to change their own destinies. 

The men who do this are mostly driven by fear of loosing material power to use to assert their domineering roles. They relate their power to what they own materially relative to women owned. 

They see accumulation of material things and positions by women as a threat their power and thus react by other suppressing women, denying them what us due to them and by sulking into some little corners in society, feeling debased. 

Dr Myles' Understanding the Power and Purpose of Men, tells a story that best illustrate this point. A while ago, after speaking at a leadership meeting in Pittsburg, says Dr Myles, a young unmarried lady in her late twenties told me that she was a vice-president of a bank and was earning very well.

She said she had always dreamt of owning a Jaguar and though she could now afford, she decided not to buy it because it would intimidate men. It would send a wrong signal, she said. 

So, she bought a car of lower status to avoid frightening men at the time when she was ready for a steady relationship and marriage. 

I have picked up that the Pittsburg lady can be found in Soweto in South Africa, Harare in Zimbabwe or Kinshasa in the DRC. I am certain you also know of women sacrificing their increase to avoid putting prospective husbands off. I have. 

Desperation is what happens when a person does not understand that they are complete for their purpose and that they can achieve what they desire. It is to allow others' opinion to cloud their inner voice of essence. It when they see thselves through the mirror of eyes of doubting others. 

Yep, desperate women can make a mistake of diminishing their potential just to hook to an intimidated men. Marriages and relationships built on intimidation and self-depreciation are bound run into difficulties every now and then. 

As I said to that lady, women should not marry men who are intimidated by the size of the car you own or think of owning. Such men are insecure. Such men equate position with things they own.  

Dr Myles says he left her with these words, which I think applies to many women too: "when insecurity marries insecurity, there will be problems throughout that marriage."

Men must be reminded that their self-image should not be linked to what someone else has. If you are a CEO of a company, you are the CEO even if your HR Manager owns a Porsche. 

There is not even a guarantee that that the woman with modest asset today will not accelerate up the corporate ladder to own more than you have. 

Women have to understand thatdesperate  sacrifices don't even guarantee the desired outcome. Letting go of opportunities and life had already just to draw in a scum bag looking like a man is foolish. 

Do I advocate arrogance on the part of single women hoping for marriage? No! Do I want to see large numbers of spinsters who fail to connect with potential soul mates? No! 

Am I discounting the possibility that scum bags have the potential to evolve into hunks? No! 

All I am saying that intimidated and low self-esteemed men deserve support, but sacrifice of advantages women have. Women do not have to lose essentials in order to gain a soul mate. 

What do you think? 

Intimidated men, cowed women

As I like saying, purpose is most important thing that a man, especially the male men, should have. For it is by purpose that man find meaning in their life, whether at the top of the corporate ladder or at the fringes of society. 

Purpose gives direction from man is today to where they ought to be in future. It is born out vision, the dreamt end.  

You may ask as to what does this which I have said have to do with intimidated men. You may wonder what do I mean by "intimidated" men and how does clarity of purpose assist in dealing with the intimidated nature of many men? 

We are living in a society that is experiencing major changes in all fields of life, from politics to the economy or business, from security to social conditions of living, from the schools to churches and from culture to culture. 

As our world become globally integrated, as means of communication expanding putting us into touch many different cultures or ways of living, as consumerism and indebtedness spread though the world, the world familiar to men is also turning upside down. 

This is because by creation man, especially male man, wants to feel that they are in control of circumstances around them. It is in the inner part of his being to have means and ways to putting everything around under his rulership. 

Whether or not they are conscious of this, men are always responding to the promise of creation that mankind will rule over earth. The question men have to keep in mind is whether they respond correctly to this promise. 

But because we as men often do not have a clear understanding of the meaning of the promise rulership, we think it is only men who must rule and that we should prevent women from taking charge too. We think it is about ruling over rather than with them. 

As Dr Myles Munroe says in his book, Understanding the Power and Purpose of  Men, wrong interpretation of man and male man's role in as fathers, husbands and brothers to women to mean that they must dominate, suppress, abuse and harass women. 

This has led men to see women as objects for the gratification of their egos. On this basis, we men forceourselves   on women demanding submission, respect, honour and pleasure. 

We, men, have got to be confident without being arrogant. We've got to understand powerful women and confident men makesuccesful families and societies. We must understand that we were born to lead , not to dominate others. 

Leadership is to motivate abd inspire others by the strength of a vision (personal and organisational) and the fire of the passion for the mission. It is not to control, intimidate or suppress the other. We derive no drop of essence by demeaning others.

Men should, therefore, not be intimidated, neither should women sacrifice themselves to adjust themselves to intimidated men.   

What do you think?